Goth vs. Emo

There are many fascinating species of white, middle-class teenager. In your voyages into the wilds of your local high school, you have undoubtedly encountered the hip-hops, the geeks, jocks, dorks, fleeks, wonkas, and cheerleaders. Other common teen types include the prisses, thugs, wilcos, squirrels, pot-heads, pretty boys, nerds, flannels, shades, and the (increasingly popular) zombies.

Yes, there is no end to the colorful array of teen stereotypes. Two commonly confused groups that are full of delightful teenage wonderment are the GOTHS and the EMO (emos? Emoians?)

Goth

Goths have been around since *I* was in high school, back in the early nineties. Back then we didn't call them Goths. We called them, "You know, that chick who dyes her hair black, wears black nail-polish and lipstick, looks kinda pale, smokes, and writes depressing poetry?"
Some day they may rise again and INVADE ROME! For now, however, they are a teenage clique. While musical tastes may vary, Goths invariably:
*wear black
*wear black nail-polish (nail polish is for boys, too!)
*are pale (and may wear makeup to make themselves more pale)
*want to have sex with vampires and/or other characters from Anne Rice books
*dye their hair black or some other conveniently spooky color (like fuschia)
*watch "The Crow" at least once a week
*worship Tim Burton (I said that already)
*worship candles and sometimes fairies as long as they are fairies that wear black from Hot Topic
*smoke cloves until their parents find out
*get piercings if their parents let them
*get celtic tattoos if their parents let them (because black celtic crap is FRICKIN' AWESOME)
*whine about their cruel, awful parents who won't let them get tongue/eyebrow piercings or celtic tattoos and then make plans to get the piercings and celtic tattoos anyway and brag to all their friends about how they're going to do it and then hope that all their friends will forget about it because they don't really want to piss of their dad THAT much even though a black celtic arm-band or some kind of cross thing would look FRICKIN' AWESOME

For the record, I want to state I came up with the above list all by myself WITHOUT using Google. Now that I've used Google, however, I find that my list holds up pretty well... right down to Winona's Lydia and Tim Burton.

Goths and music... well, I'd like to say that music is where Goth begins and ends. But that isn't true. Goth begins and ends with teen angst. However, music is pretty important. Gothic rock and "death rock" was sort of a post-punk thing. Siouxsie & the Banshees are a MUST for any Goth music researcher... even a dorky musical-know-nothing like me knows that. I'll throw in Sisters of Mercy as another early Goth band, but when we get to the nineties things get really confusing. The media and the common culture label Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails as Goth, whereas I believe a true Goth would say they are too rocky or too hard or too mainstream to be real Goth music.

I checked, and there is actually an argument about this very topic available in Wikipedia. Wow! Fun reading! If you want a headache! Or a goth-ache!

Emo
There is a big difference between Goth and Emo. As patiently explained to me by the Gothic wastedxmetaphor, "Goths are cool. Emos are just pathetic." (I'm paraphrasing here).

I'll spend less time with Emo, I promise. I have to get to the Emo/Goth depressing poetry contest below!

I'll just point out that it really was just a music scene, for a long time. Hardcore for nerds! Heavy music without the machismo! It's only recently that people have been using "Emo" to describe a teen stereotype.

Emo comes from "emotional hardcore" music, but is currently used as a sort of short-hand for "emotional." Emo also described a nerd clothing style. Go watch an old Weezer MTV video... note the thick black glasses, the kahkis, the tracksuits, the sweaters, etc. Thrift store stuff. And the music... Dashboard Confessional! My Chemical Romance! 99.9 the Buzz!

Now, however, Emo is kind of an insult. (Goth is not). Emo teens are seen as taking life too seriously and invoking drama in life where it doesn't exist. (Because other teenagers NEVER do that. Other teenagers are paragons of emotional stability! It's just the Emos who act like Tom Cruise! Yeah!)

In the past few years, Emo has moved away from nerd clothes and into black, black, and more black. Dyed black hair. Piercings. Dark make-up, black eyeliner. Hmm... sounds like Goth, eh? Nope! I will now reveal the key difference between modern Emo and Goth fashion sense. This is how you can tell Goths and Emos apart:

Emos wear Converse All-Stars. Goths do not.

But really... they both think about darkness and death and loud music and stuff, right? So, what is the key difference between modern Emo and Goth philosophies?

Goths want vampires to bite them and drink their blood.
Emos just want to bleed.

There you have it folks. If you don't believe me, spend some quality time with Google or visit your local high school. Never mind, stay out of the local high school. You escaped once, never let them trap you again.

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